31 More Days . . .

The Day to submit my thesis is coming real soon! !

. . .

This is the Day that I have awaited for a long long long while!

I'm at the stage of final corrections and waiting for supervisor to be back from holidays, which will be in 3 weeks time! ! !

Oh No! ! ! Hopefully I can submit it in time before I ride on a jet plane to go home!

. . .

In 31 days time, around this hour, I'll be at Melbourne Airport waiting happily to board the Singapore airline, after the past few journeys with Air Asia that gave me body aches!!

Can't complain much because Air Asia is way cheaper than other airlines!

. . .

The end of thesis also means it is the time to Part with some colleagues that I have built close friendships with!

*SiGh*

The thought of Not able to see them again is saddening!

When and where will we meet again? ? I Do Not Know! !

. . .

I always wonder why does Life have to be so "cruel"?!

Why do we have to go through Sadness!?

. . .

Guess it's just part of growing up and old!

. . .

*s i g h*

Unknown Calls...

In the early morning, 4 am, of 25th June 2008, which was the day Mom passed away and the following 2 nights after her passing away I received unknown calls on my mobile.

I find it a rather strange event!

I wonder if God was calling me to prepare me. . .

They happened at a rather strange time!

After 2 months, again, I got an unknown call at 5 am...

. . .

I really wonder who called me at those early hours! !

Was it something "strange" and significant or I was actually pranked!?!?!

. . .

Maybe Mom or God was sending messages to me from the "spiritual realm"!

. . .

Today I got unknown calls again but I don't find it strange because they occurred during working hours. But I wasn't available to pick them up. And I wonder who called me! Not my family, and so who? Did I owe anyone money?!?!? Maybe . . . Hence they are chasing me for the $$$!

Another 365 Days have Gone!

Watched the 6th Hour of Driven by Eternity last night!

The content is almost in line with other Authors who have visited and written about Heaven.

That brought me some "relief" - knowing that Mom and Grandma are reunited and enjoying (really hope so) the Presence of God!

. . .

I wonder how Mom felt when she met up with Grandma after 4 months she was back in Heaven!

. . .

Today, 24th October 2009 marks the One year Return of Grandma to Heaven!

. . .

I have been imagining how It would be on The Day when I meet up with Mom again!!

. . .

I Can't Wait for that Day to Come! !

. . .

Lost . . . But Not Found!

It's only When . . .

One has lost someone or something that One has taken for granted or did not treasure as much and as often as One should . . .

Only then . . . and then . . . thou realised their vital importance!

. . .

There is No U-turn for Many Situations in Life!

. . .

By then Only Memories can serve . . .

It's better than "Nil" . . . But One has already lost the "Point"!

. . .

I Shall treasure the Moments before it's too late, again! . . .

. . .

And Technology can help in part to Capture the Moments . . .

Shall keep a "photo - logue" whenever possible!

When Dreams are The Only Place I want to Be In!

Since Mom's passing away, dream is the only place where I can see and talk to her!

. . .

For the first 12 months, I had Reccuring dreams about me praying Desperately for her to be healed!

Almost on alternate days, if not every night!

. . .

Those dreams were very very, very REAL & Vivid!!!

I can Intensely feel the Desperation and Sadness in the dreams!

Even after waking up those emotions were still very strong & depressing! !

. . .

In some dreams I was SO Happy & Overjoyed that Mom was healed!

But I was Utterly Disappointed when I knew it was . . . Just A Dream!

There were times that I wept after waking up from those dreams!

In one dream, I kept asking Mom to "Must Remember ME! Must remember Me!!! . . . I kept repeating it! And she said she'll remember my birthday! . . . Then I woke up! at 4 a.m.

. . .

After the 12 months, slowly my dreams about Mom were less saddening but more conversational & happy!

Those latter dreams had the scene of old days, at the old house & of younger age!

Some dreams were about her asking me to be a good girl!!

. . .

My Need for Mom's care & love is "manifested" & "fulfilled" in my dreams.

My heart is very much longing for Mom!

. . .

Now dreams are the only Place where I can See, Converse & feel Her "Presence, Care & Love!!

. . .

For now any emotions that are built up in me will be released in my dreams, as there is no other place to . . .

.

.

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Hope to pen down the dreams about Mom, lest my memory is fading away!

And Hope to have more happy dreams about Mom!!!

. . .

Dream - My only way & place to feel Mom's Presence & Love again!

. . .

Chatting in the Student Rooms!

I have been struggling for many months with students constantly talking on the phone and chit chat with other students.

The time they spend on talking are longer than them working in the lab...! ! !

When I first started working here I never had those spare time to chit chat !

I wonder why these new batches of students are so FREE!!!!!!???????

. . .

And finally, I got the gut to tell them off this week!

And I felt guilty after that...

I don't like telling people off!!!

But it has come to a point where I can't take it anymore because I am writing my final chapters & I'm distracted e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. !

Imagine someone concentrating, trying to write then got distracted, almost all the time!

The reason I felt guilty is because they said "sorry"...

They said they can understand about it...

If they can understand then why did they do it at the first place???

. . .

Oh, back from *gossipping*

Another student is also having the same problem!

She too told someone off in a friendly manner but was ignored!

*headache*

Those short term students from other countries are only here for fun!

So their conversations are just fun & fun and we, the long term students have to suffer with their chit chats!

. . .

OHHHHH!!! HELP!!!!!!!!! :( :( :(

. . .